Just sent this in to the local newspaper - the Bristol Phoenix, in response to silly-assed letter writers who, over the past few weeks, have been complaining about local farming practices:
Volunteer to be a Scarecrow
Dear Editor:
I love locally-grown food. Our local sweet corn is the best; we wait for it, every year, to appear in the roadside stands in late July. I like the fact that it is grown here in Bristol in fields less than a half mile from my house, in fields that the Indians farmed for ten thousand years or more. As farms dwindle in the face of encroaching development, they become a treasure, especially nowadays when our corn usually comes from Florida, our salmon and shrimp come from stagnant, polluted fish farms in Indonesia, and our nuts and other products come from China, where lead and cadmium are apparently considered condiments.
So it irks me that a couple of spoiled locals, who seeminglywould like to see our local farms turned into gated communities for the snobset, have written in to the Phoenix whining about the propane cannons that pop off every now and then to keep the crows from decimating the corn crop. Drive the farmers out of business, and you drive away locally-grown produce. Farming is hard work, and these folks, who have probably never worked a real day in their lives, have little clue about what is involved. Profits are meager, days are long, and disappointments are many. Farmers have a right to use bird control technology. I hear the cannons all summer long very clearly from my home on Birchwood Drive. To me it is a small price to pay to keep small family farms in business. In fact the artillery-like concussions remind me that there is a war on between the interests of a selfish few ninnies and the good of the greater population.
But one exasperated letter-writer wrote something to the extent that “what about using scarecrows”? Beyond the idiocy of the remark, I suddenly had an idea; it was like, well, putting two and two together. These privileged folk who object to the cannons – who have more time and money than they probably know what to do with, and have their food delivered to their doorsteps by Ohio Steaks and Peapod – could volunteer their time to be ‘living scarecrows’ a part of each day in the farmer’s fields. They could dress up in chic designer ‘scarecrow’ outfits – bring wine and cheese too – and dance around the fields for a few hours, chasing off those nasty corn-pecking crows.Great aerobics, a dedication to ‘green’ farming, no cannons, and plenty of fresh air.
Perhaps they could get a few complimentary ears of corn for their trouble. After all, has anyone seen the price of arugula lately?
Sincerely,
Mike Martel
Volunteer to be a Scarecrow
Dear Editor:
I love locally-grown food. Our local sweet corn is the best; we wait for it, every year, to appear in the roadside stands in late July. I like the fact that it is grown here in Bristol in fields less than a half mile from my house, in fields that the Indians farmed for ten thousand years or more. As farms dwindle in the face of encroaching development, they become a treasure, especially nowadays when our corn usually comes from Florida, our salmon and shrimp come from stagnant, polluted fish farms in Indonesia, and our nuts and other products come from China, where lead and cadmium are apparently considered condiments.
So it irks me that a couple of spoiled locals, who seeminglywould like to see our local farms turned into gated communities for the snobset, have written in to the Phoenix whining about the propane cannons that pop off every now and then to keep the crows from decimating the corn crop. Drive the farmers out of business, and you drive away locally-grown produce. Farming is hard work, and these folks, who have probably never worked a real day in their lives, have little clue about what is involved. Profits are meager, days are long, and disappointments are many. Farmers have a right to use bird control technology. I hear the cannons all summer long very clearly from my home on Birchwood Drive. To me it is a small price to pay to keep small family farms in business. In fact the artillery-like concussions remind me that there is a war on between the interests of a selfish few ninnies and the good of the greater population.
But one exasperated letter-writer wrote something to the extent that “what about using scarecrows”? Beyond the idiocy of the remark, I suddenly had an idea; it was like, well, putting two and two together. These privileged folk who object to the cannons – who have more time and money than they probably know what to do with, and have their food delivered to their doorsteps by Ohio Steaks and Peapod – could volunteer their time to be ‘living scarecrows’ a part of each day in the farmer’s fields. They could dress up in chic designer ‘scarecrow’ outfits – bring wine and cheese too – and dance around the fields for a few hours, chasing off those nasty corn-pecking crows.Great aerobics, a dedication to ‘green’ farming, no cannons, and plenty of fresh air.
Perhaps they could get a few complimentary ears of corn for their trouble. After all, has anyone seen the price of arugula lately?
Sincerely,
Mike Martel
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